We lost another one. Though she fought her share of inner-demons in life, many would agree that Whitney Houston had a gift only an angel could share with the world — a gift that continues to move people, even after her death.

As news of her tragic, untimely passing at the age of 48 quickly shook the internet, we all (individually and collectively) painted a portrait of a woman whose talent and life made an impact on the world almost too big to be contained in memory, tweets, or recollections of the fans she loved.

This is when numbers in social media matter.  With the passing of another much-loved entertainer whose sound was so unique it has yet to be duplicated, it has become increasing clear that millions of people expressing their condolences and honoring the life of a person who touched us all is, actually, quite significant.

The significance in “social media mourning” isn’t in touting record-breaking tweets noted dutifully by digital media news sites.  Nor is it in championing social media for, once again, beating old media to the “breaking story” punch (note: Whitney Houston’s death was announced on Twitter 26 minutes before mainstream news confirmed and reported it).

The significance of us collectively honoring a deceased legend in social media rests in us painting a nuanced portrait of the entertainer’s life  for younger generations (millineals and teenagers) who otherwise would not understand the enormity of the entertainer’s contribution to the world. Wikipedia does a fine job of detailing life achievements but, when it comes to explaining how those achievements changed the world, nothing compares to raw human emotion (even if that emotion is edited down to 140 characters).

Collective social media mourning (even crass jokes made at the expense of the deceased) helps to tell a colorful story that encyclopedias and obituaries never could or would.  It brings the life and legacy of a human being into sharper focus and offers younger generations an  understanding of how a talented life truly effects society when it is in the world and how we grieve and heal after it has left the world.

The sheer volume of people posting their shock, grief and memories in social media acts as a signal to younger generations to take notice of a life that they may not have known intimately, but that they should recognize as contributing to the very art and culture they love.  How many 20-somethings really knew about Etta James or Don Cornelius before they died? Social media mourning educates the young as much as it honors and celebrates the life of the departed.

But even as social media mourning gives us all permission to to share our grief collectively and publicly in digital detail, I can’t help but think that the very youth I speak of are processing all of this in a way we older folks simply can’t understand right now (and won’t for some time to come). How this will all effect how they process and express grief and celebration in the death of a loved one (or beloved public figure) in their adult lives remains to be seen.

No matter how sincere or poetic one tweet or Facebook status update may be, it takes a social media village to understand and honor the life of an iconic figure that has passed on left us for now. Whitney Houston family and managers website apparently understand this very well. In the place of the original website full of updates about the singer’s life and upcoming projects is one simple, elegant page featuring a photo of Ms. Houston looking elegant and angelic as ever with the following statement:

Remembering Whitney Houston

The greatest voice of our time.

Share your memories.

Beneath this statement is a lavender Facebook Share button followed by a Facebook comment stream where over 6,000 people so far have shared their condolences, thoughts and prayers.

Indeed, when mourning the death of a legend in social media, numbers do matter.

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“Get on with it.”

I never knew Steve Jobs personally but, like many of you, I became intimate with him through the genius of his innovative company, Apple, and its products (not to mention his other ventures).  So, I make no claims into understanding the heart and mind of a man who, ironically, seemed to understand our hearts and minds enough to show us something bigger than ourselves.

Having said that, Steve Jobs belongs, in memory, to each and every one of us.  Though his passing is a loss to the world, I believe this much to be true:

If Steve Jobs was truly as brilliant as we all believed him to be throughout his life then, wherever he is right now, his brilliance is shining even brighter.

For all of the profound insights into human potential Steve Jobs had in life (that he learned and earned through his own struggles and triumphs), if there is such a thing as an afterlife, he probably has even more clarity into our condition and potential than he did when he was alive.

Watching us from wherever he is right now, seeing the oceans of condolences and tributes being expressed in his honor, Steve Jobs would undoubtedly be moved by the love and appreciation the world is showering on him. It doesn’t take knowing the man on a personal level as a friend or family member to see that, in humble service to humanity, he was very appreciative (even through minor annoyances) of his multitude of supporters and fans, friends and family.

But, if given the chance to say one more thing to us, what would Steve Jobs say to the world in response to this collective mourning and celebration of his life?  As humble and appreciative as he was, I don’t believe he would say “thank you”.  I believe he would say this to the world:

“Get on with life.  You’re wasting precious time.”

It sounds harsh.  After all, as human beings we must mourn to move on after a loved-one dies.  Several days of appreciation for another human being is not much to give up.  I personally understand the need for (and have partaken in) the tremendous outpouring of last respects from people around the world to Mr. Jobs and his family.  We need to say goodbye — to touch his spirit one last time before it moves on to the next world, the next life, before returning home.  And we use collective mourning to connect with each other and remember how much we truly affect one another.  But I can’t help but think that, in his infinite wisdom and his now enlightened perspective of having lived and died, Steve Jobs would say that every second spent not fulfilling a dream or following a passion is a wasted one (now more than ever).

He’s probably watching the world in a multidimensional way that allows him to see our many lives intersecting, the possibilities and their effects — what we could be if we each tried just a little harder — opened our minds just a bit more — defied our own fears.   He is probably seeing so many people in the world who could be entrepreneurial and creative innovators among us (some of them sitting in post offices working for the government, some locked up in jail, some struggling to raise children on a fixed income and some who are entrepreneurs but who will never be heard because they don’t fit how we think an entrepreneur should look and sound).

Our potential and the urgency that we try to tap into that potential every moment of the day, a sentiment that seemed to drive Steve Jobs when he was alive, resonates further and louder now that he is gone.  If we each took even one-tenth of the energy and emotion that we’ve put into expressing remorse for the loss of Steve Jobs and his legacy and put that towards our own dreams or into helping someone else achieve their dreams, the world would be so profoundly and positively changed, it would make Mr. Jobs’ contribution to the world seem like a slight spark in the night sky.  He would want that.  Don’t you think?

Before slipping away forever, Steve Jobs might say to the world:

Stop deifying me. Look around you.  There are people you encounter daily who could change the world as much as I did in their own way.  Know them, listen to them, help them.

Our biggest tribute to his legacy would be to honor his lifelong message of dreaming and reaching beyond who and what we are.  Instead of tweeting and posting “RIP Steve Jobs” across social media (which is heart-felt and well-intended I’m sure),  maybe we should tweet and post:

“My memorial to Steve Jobs is to live my dream.  My passion is  _________. “

And if you don’t yet recognize what your own dream is:

“My memorial to Steve Jobs is to help someone else fulfill their dream. What is your passion? How can I help you?”

He would like that.  Don’t you think?

DISCLAIMER:  I don’t eat meat — haven’t for years.  I’m a pescitarian.  That means I don’t eat meat, but I do eat fish — but not shell fish — unless it’s crab-cakes — and only pure crabmeat crabcake (not that filler crap).  Welcome to my world.  As complicated as my dietary world may seem, it is nothing compared to the individual who would eat the new Big Kahuna Donut Burger (or as I call it, the Quadruple Bipass Burger).

The Big Kahuna Donut Burger (which was unveiled officially last week at the New York State Fair in Syracuse, New York) is:

“a quarter-pound burger, wedged between two slices of a grilled glazed doughnut, topped with cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato and onion – and weighs in at a 1,500 calories…”

I don’t judge anyone who loves meat — hell, if it makes you happy go for it.  And this beast of a burger, though it may clog your arteries on contact, can be easily justified as an occasional indulgence at a festive event.

But in reality, this burger is so much more.  It epitomizes America at its best and worst: Unpologetically grand and over-the-top, yet alluring  enough to make you want to try it despite it’s vulgarity (or maybe even because of its vulgarity).  Yes, it’s gross.  I’ll have mine with a Diet Coke please.

There’s also something to be said for anyone who can eat this donut-burger and live.  It is the gastronomic version of walking on water.  Perhaps they should follow up such a daring, death-defying feat with fixing America’s fiscal crisis, ushering in world peace and keeping Charlie Sheen clean and sober.

If you have eaten this burger and survived (with a fully functioning, beating heart), call me.

Related articles

• Fair goers line up for 1,500-calorie doughnut burger in N.Y. (chron.com)
• N.Y. State Fair unveils 1,500-calorie ‘Donut Burger’ (usatoday.com)
• Donut burger serves up 1,500 calories (cbsnews.com)
• AJ Batac (AJ NIN): 1,500-calorie burger. (ca.shine.yahoo.com)

It’s Labor Day Weekend and I’m enjoying the last of my summer with my flashback faves (long before hip-hop was called hip-hop and when rap was fun and positive).  Who can forget Run DMC’s It’s like that?  Classic.  Party.  Fire.

Lyrics after the video.  “It’s like that. What?!!  And that’s the way it is, HUH!!”

“It’s Like That”

[Run]
Unemployment at a record highs
People coming, people going, people born to die
Don’t ask me, because I don’t know why
But it’s like that, and that’s the way it is

[D.M.C.]
People in the world tryin to make ends meet
You try to ride car, train, bus, or feet
I said you got to work hard, you want to compete
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is
Huh!

[Run & D.M.C. alternate lines for the remainder of the song]
Money is the key to end all your woes
Your ups, your downs, your highs and your lows
Won’t you tell me the last time that love bought you clothes?
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is

Bills rise higher every day
We receive much lower pay
I’d rather stay young, go out and play
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is
Huh!

Wars going on across the sea
Street soldiers killing the elderly
Whatever happened to unity?
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is

Disillusion is the word
That’s used by me when I’m not heard
I just go through life with my glasses blurred
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is
Huh!

You can see a lot in this lifespan
Like a bum eating out of a garbage can
You noticed one time he was your man
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is

You should have gone to school, you could’ve learned a trade
But you laid in the bed where the bums have laid
Now all the time you’re crying that you’re underpaid
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is
Huh!

One thing I know is that life is short
So listen up homeboy, give this a thought
The next time someone’s teaching why don’t you get taught?
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is

If you really think about it times aren’t that bad
The one that flexes with successes will make you glad
Stop playing start praying, you won’t be sad
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is
Huh!

When you feel you fail sometimes it hurts
For a meaning in life is why you search
Take the bus or the train, drive to school or the church
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is

Here’s another point in life you should not miss
Do not be a fool who’s prejudiced
Because we’re all written down on the same list
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is
Huh!

You know it’s like that, and that’s the way it is
Because it’s like that, and that’s the way it is
[Repeat these lines til fade]

Related articles

• Run-DMC “Walk This Way” (raidersofthelostart.wordpress.com)
• Throwback Thursdays: King Of Rock – RUN DMC! (prettyhypeto.com)
• STYLETUBE : RUN DMC – My Adidas (cocoandclick.com)

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I used to suck at failing.

As an entrepreneur, I have come to realize that (with one colossal failed startup under my build) I suck at failing precisely and wholly because I didn’t think I could fail.

I lived a nice, comfortable life for many years working freelance for some of the biggest corporations in the world (from entertainment, to corporate law, to publishing, to investment banking).  For the most part, I worked on my own terms and made great money doing it.  The money (back in the late 90’s and 00’s) came fast, easy and with few consequences.  Failure was not an option (there was too much money floating around and, in this society, money doesn’t equal failure – lots of money equals success).  But getting easy, fast money in the era of unaccountability tainted us all (even those of us who liked to think of ourselves as being better more substantive than this ideology).  Of course, we know now (post financial markets crash of 2008) that there are serious flaws in the way our culture defines failure and success.  While money can buy comfort and certain freedoms, it turns out that it really can’t buy happiness and it might even bring on its own form of misery.  And failure isn’t the dirty word we’ve all been taught to believe it is.  Quite the contrary, failure is the diamond in the rough – a key ingredient to our success and to achieving our goals.

Good times and tons of money made heroes out of everyone (the entire country seemed invincible) and closed us off to the notion and acceptance of failure on a personal and societal level.  By rejecting the idea of failing (“failure is not an option”) we open ourselves up to failing all the more.

My first startup failed one year ago.  It devastated me financially, emotionally and psychologically.  It was, I admit, a shock to my system.  I’m still recovering.  After everything I’d been through in my life, I simply found it hard to believe that my business (my baby) could… f-f-f-FAIL!  There are three reasons for this:

1. (1) I was very arrogant.  In the past, sitting in the comforts of a cushy job, whenever I thought about the possibility of starting my own business, I always figured that, if and when I decided to launch a startup, I would succeed – period (I knew it would be hard work but I had no doubt that I would succeed).  Why?  Because I’m fly, my ideas are great and I’ve helped make other people’s dreams come true in corporate America.
2. (2) I’m not 20 years old – age plays a factor in ones ability to bounce back from failure (the idea of failing after 30 is a bitter, fat pill to swallow – not to mention the fact that the timeline of your goals you so meticulously laid out in your 20’s has now been derailed by a couple of years invested in a failed venture – all of a sudden, time is not your friend).
3. (3) Most importantly, I didn’t believe I could fail so I didn’t prepare to fail.  I know, it sounds self-defeating to prepare for failure but here’s the big key to this whole failure thing that nobody tells you: the fear of failure is worse than failure itself.  In this case, avoiding the idea of failure means you can’t prepare adequately for a “Plan B” or “Plan C” in the event of failure.  This, ultimately, closes off your opportunities which, in turn, leads to more frustration and a feeling of hopelessness.  What if you fail and can’t pay back people who invested funds in your startup (family, friends, investors)?  How will you look at them?  How will they look at you?  Can you regain that trust?  Without accepting the idea of failure, you can never truly ponder these questions and arrive at the crucial answers (knowing the answers to these failure questions will help you understand more how to approach people for funds to begin with).

Now that I have my second startup, I realize that failure has less to do with what you didn’t accomplish and more to do with how you define yourself in the absence of certain accomplishments.  I now allow failure to help me reshape my goals and bring even more meaning to my successes (and there have been successes!).  Which leads me to something that is a curiosity to me:  We fail more than we succeed (the overnight success story is few and far between and, even if you do achieve success fast and early in life, repeating that success without a series of failures is nearly impossible).  If we spend our lives experiencing multiple, successive failures (at whatever we set out to accomplish) before we actually succeed, then why are we better at failing.  Why does failure hinder so many people and kill so many dreams?

A well-known, respected VC told me that he doesn’t take an entrepreneur seriously until they’ve failed.  When he learned my first startup failed he decided to meet with me when I pitched him my second startup.  Why?  Because, not only did I bounce back from my failure, I understood the importance of owning my failure.  Instead of being embarrassed by it, I wear my failure like a cape (the way Superman wears his cape).  It helps me to fly and deflect negativity!  I haven’t perfected how to handle those massive failures that can rock ones world to the core, but I’m much better at it now thanks to friends, family and determination.

There is much that can be said and debated about this topic but this much I know from my personal experiences:  Accepting the idea of failure as an entrepreneur doesn’t invite failure, it opens you up to potential solutions and opportunities that will free you from the feeling of failure when it hits.

The best way to bounce-back from failure is to expect it, accept it and, yes, embrace it.  Failure is not a dirty word.  It humbles and empowers us.  Last time I checked, those were both amazing things.

Related articles

• This Is The #1 Reason Startups Fail (businessinsider.com)
• The Startup Genome Compass launches to help startups avoid failure (thenextweb.com)
• Fail fast, Fail often, Fail by design. (thenextweb.com)

I love this photo of Clint Eastwood because (1) I stumbled upon it looking for another photo of him from his film “Dirty Harry” and was pleasantly surprised (a reminder of how great the online discovery process is); (2) it makes me say “wtf”? (definitely an odd moment to capture if it wasn’t staged) and (3) it makes me say “aawwww”.   I’d also like to know what the hell he was thinking in this photo.

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• How Beyonce’s Pregnancy Will Affect Her New Film (huffingtonpost.com)
• Why We Love These Movies: Clint Eastwood (jpfeed.wordpress.com)

I’m under an excruciating amount of pressure to deliver — to deliver a successful startup, to create and execute a vision for my life that will make me happy and help the world for the better, to pay off a mountain of past debt, to find a place to live, to understand who I am at every waking moment of the day — the list goes on.  Add to all of that the social obligations of family and friends and there I am… living in my very own pressure-cooker.

There was a sudden break in the pressure I felt the other day.  Walking down the street, the following question hit me like a ton of bricks in the head:

“How much of this stress I’m feeling is real pressure from the outside world placing immediate (key word) demands on me and how much of this pressure is imagined, self-induced pressure due to fears, miscalculations and anxieties?”

What is the difference between externally and internally induced pressure?  Mostly, time.  Partially, perception.  Our concerns and fears about our inability to deliver on our own goals is sometimes valid.  With so many factors at play feeding the uncertainty of our ability to deliver positive results and more demands being added to our plate every day (especially if you’re an entrepreneur), the eternal question many of us wake up and go to sleep wondering is not “When will I get everything done?” but “What’s going to happen when one of the balls drops because I can’t possibly get everything done?“.

Unfortunately, we tend to miscalculate the negative repercussions those “dropped balls” will have on our lives (mostly seeing the outcome as far more dire than it could ever be in reality).  Our exaggerated perception of the “worst case scenario” is what adds stress to our lives that can cave-in anyone’s chest.

Just the same, time is not our enemy.  Our perception of time is our enemy.  Valid external pressure is stepping off of the curb and seeing the headlights of a car approaching at an accelerated speed a mere 50 feet from you.  The need to act or react is immediate.  Self-imposed internal pressure is stepping off of the curb and seeing the headlights of an oncoming car three blocks away and thinking (much as you would if the car were 50 feet away), “I have to do something now or I’m going to die!”.  We have more time than we believe we have to finish our tasks and goals.  The problem isn’t that the car is three blocks away is approaching faster and will soon run you over, but that we focus on the car to begin with instead of the immediate task of getting across the street and letting the crosswalk signs guide us (putting our faith in the processes and laws built into our environment to protect us from being hit by the car to begin with).

So why am I saying all of this?  Because while a certain amount of self-imposed pressure is actually productive (and sometimes helps us to solve our problems), it is more often than not paralyzing and counter-productive.   I had to admit to myself that my “real versus self-imposed pressure” was 70 percent real 30 percent self-imposed.  Doesn’t seem awful right?  Here’s the kicker, I realized that the mere 30 percent self-imposed pressure I inflicted on myself was was causing me more anxiety than the “real” pressure the world was placing on me.  I was being done in by my own thoughts and fears.

So I’m asking you the following question:  “How much of the pressure you feel on a daily basis is real and how much is self imposed and exaggerated by you?”

Related articles

• Zen Motivation: the Stress Free Way to Get Things Done (talesfromthelou.wordpress.com)
• John Tropea: Deepak Chopra: Stress and the Brain (huffingtonpost.com)
• Splintered by Stress (scientificamerican.com)
• Get Rid of Anxiety by Off-Loading Fears on Paper or by Humming a Tune [Brain Hacks] (lifehacker.com)

You’ve probably never heard of Elk Creek, Nebraska.  If you have, you probably don’t know much about it.  It sounds like one of those sleepy towns featured in a Warner Brothers teen, angst vampire drama (thanks to Warner Brothers, any town that has “creek” in its title is pretty much full of vampires or desperately horny, misunderstood teenagers).

I’ll admit that I don’t know much about Elk Creek myself.  But, after learning about the town’s recent turn of luck, this is one town I wish would join social media so that they can share their rags-to-riches story.

Why the “Charlie love” for Elk Creek?

1.   Several months ago Elk Creek was discovered to possess the world’s largest deposit of rare earth minerals (the very materials used to produce the gadgets we love like tablets, laptops, cell phones, etc., among other valuable uses).   That makes Elk Creek extremely valuable because the only other location in the world with large enough deposits of rare earth minerals to meet the demands of the world is China.  According to Geek.com:

“Deposits of these minerals are usually quite small meaning mining them is expensive and time consuming. Areas with high concentrations worth mining also seem to be quite rare, with China being the main area where mining is done. That’s not a great situation to be in as China holds around 97% of the market at the moment, so there’s ongoing exploration to find new locations worth mining elsewhere in the world.”

In other words, if there were a Mining for Minerals Monthly magazine, Elk Creek would be the hot centerfold.

2.  Because of this discovery of large deposits of rare earth minerals, Elk Creek (until now virtually untouched and unnoticed by the rest of the world) will become a major player on the scene not just competing with China but, according to experts, possibly toppling China’s dominance in the rare earth minerals game.  A fitting analogy is, the Middle East has oil and China has rare earth minerals.  If Elk Creek delivers on the rare earth minerals, it will mean we won’t need to depend on China.  Which in turn will create much-needed jobs here.  It takes an Elk Creek to topple China.

2.  With only has 112 inhabitants, Elk Creek is the epitome of of small-town America (there were more than 112 people online at my local Starbucks this morning).  That makes their turn of fortune all the more intriguing.  With big money being funneled into the Elk Creek community by mining companies and the government that will make all 112 townsfolk filthy stinking rich, there’s no doubt their new fortune will bring with it wonderful experiences of dreams fulfilled and tragic regrets (not to mention the death of small town innocence).  Or maybe I’ve just been watching too many Hollywood movies.  The point is, this would be a fascinating process to watch unfold in social media.

Social media was created for us to connect and learn about each other.  With social media, like the rare earth minerals discovered in Elk Creek, everything hidden eventually comes to light.  Elk Creek is like that old country bumpkin cousin nobody talks about who might visit the big city once every 20 years but who never experiences much more in life beyond that.  What would happen if that cousin suddenly hit the lotto for hundreds of millions of dollars and actually became famous for being unique?  Welcome to Elk Creek, Nebraska.

Dear Elk Creek, please join social media and follow me (I’ll follow back).

Elk Creek, we see you!  (Google Maps image)

I have no intention of getting married.  Having said that (and hearing the collective sarcastic gasps of my friends who are well aware that I’m retiring on an iceberg in Antarctica with a colony of penguins), if I ever DO get married (insert snarky comments by religious folks who know there’s no holy covenant in the world that I can uphold), I would totally want wedding photos like THESE (scroll down to the end for the full fab effect).  However, while I’m a huge fan of zombies, I’d like to have Godzilla attacking the wedding party and eating my inlaws.  Ain’t love grand?!

Kim Kardashian and her manslave beau, Kris Humphries tied the knot yesterday in a lavish, multi-million dollar wedding.  I doubt their wedding photos were this fun or hopeful.

Scroll through the best wedding photos HERE thanks to mlkshk.com and kottke.org for the link.

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Go on.  You know you want to apply to be the former president’s social media whiz so that you and Obama’s social media strategist can become BFFs with Obama’s social media strategist and swap witty tweets.  Here are the qualifications:

Apply HERE.